so i still haven't done much digital work since i got my macbook pro last march. and a few days ago the graphics card in it crashed completely, and being one of the original versions that i got second hand, i will have to replace the logic board to fix the problem which i can't afford right now.

i feel like i've constantly been saying and telling people and myself that im going to do more digital work soon, and always blamed lack of technology or tools on my art being bad... i think i was trying too hard to emulate others' work and also beating myself up a LOT when it didn;t turn out how i saw it in my head. on top of that i've gone through some really bad relationships over the past few years and have partaken in excessive escapsim through means of intoxication and partying, which isn't very good for keeping up working on art.

i still have problems with this but i'm coming to accept that my own expression of externalisation of the internal will always be unique and special to me, and no matter what i should not give up, which i feel like doing quite often.

i've cleaned up my gallery, deleted some of my best work.. mainly because there are ideas in those half-finished sketches that i want to use for my graphic novel and i don't want any net thieves to nick them (it;s happened to me before).

i have actually been working on quite a few things lately though, just not digital stuff. i have started drawing a comic that my friend is writing, and i'm still piecing together my own graphic novel ideas.  i think what i've really been feeling frustrated over is that i know i need to variate the mediums i work in and play with colour a lot more if i ever want to get to the level i wish to be at, and a lot of the time it scares me and i jiust don't even try. i'm happy with my pencil work, but i've been trapped in a graphite comfort zone.

hopefully i'll have some finished pieces to share with you all eventually. but i will mostly be using this account for some of my jewellery, clothing and photography when i still do that. however i am mostly going to be focusing on drawing and painting, and i will not be rushing things just to get them uploaded anymore.